I tried on and off for many years to keep a journal, I
was just never very successful. My first
was given to me when I was 6 by my maternal grandmother. I can remember it very clearly. It was huge in my little hands, with a Holly
Hobbie motif and glided edges. Not really knowing what to do with it, and being in first
grade, my entries talked about all sorts of things. Entries were erratic and covered topics from
what happened at school to how unfair my parents were. The diary was lost long ago, but I have to
say I wish I could see it now. It probably would cause me to giggle.
My next diary was given to me by my paternal grandmother
when I was 10. It quickly became less
about what was actually happening in my life and what I wish my life was
like. Then and in the future. At 10, or 5th grade, I
had a lot of turmoil in my life. To be
honest I really don’t know why. My
family life was fine but I was making poor choices with friends, getting into
trouble, and being rebellious in many ways to put it mildly. My journaling was the way I escaped from
reality. It was pure fantasy, written
like it was really happening. I wrote on
and off in it until I was 12 and then I lost it during a move. Then, quite by chance, I found it in the
bottom of a trunk when I was 16.
Appalled by what I read, and scared people might think that was really
what went on in my life then, I burned it.
In college my recording of events, thoughts, and emotions
came from my calendars. I kept very
in-depth calendars of my class and work schedules. In the margins I made comments about what was
going on when, hearts around important dates, and other little symbols to
remind me of people and groups. In fact,
my calendar only recently went from handwritten to digital, and that was at the
prompting of my husband. For the last
year I have used my calendar on the computer for my appointments, and you could
say this site for my thoughts. Well, at
least my genealogy thoughts.
There is also a partial journal from when I was pregnant
with my oldest child. At the time I
thought it would be a wonderful heirloom; a written record of the appointments,
thoughts, and happenings surrounding the birth of our first child. It abruptly stops at 25 weeks, the time my oldest
was born via emergency C-section, and the start of the rollercoaster ride that
comes with being a NICU parent. I kept
daily accounts of that time and put them into a scrap book for my son. It was my therapy to say the least.
Several years ago I began a private livejournal
account. I loved my livejournal. Yes, I said loved. To be honest since I started writing here
more and writing other places more frequently, writing for me fell to the
wayside. I keep telling myself I will go
back, it just hasn’t happened yet. What
I love is that I was able to make a book out of all the journal entries I
created. Now, even if I lose my account,
I won’t lose my memories.
One day I will learn life balance and will be able to
write what I want, when I want, how I want, and
hopefully that means I will
pick up journal writing again. Not, just
recording dates, names, and places. Cause
we all know that is boring!
No comments:
Post a Comment